While living in Bristol myself and Steven Warnes (TTB) wrote and
recorded, to the best of our knowledge, the first Fernando Llorente concept
album there has ever been.
Described by at least one of the co-creaters as having ‘little
artistic merit’ and being ‘a difficult, at times sexually exhausting listen’
FERNANDO LLORENTE – THE ALBUM successfully represents perhaps the zenith, or at least the nadir, of football
concept album ambition.
This is the music: https://soundcloud.com/cookioinnitla/sets/fernando-llorente-the-album
This is the concept, track by track:
1.
Hello Fernando Llorente
A joyous greeting to our hero! From the fans. From his family. From football lovers everywhere. Hello Fernando Llorente! All hail El Rey Leon! The Lion King!
2.
Pre Match Jitters
The dressing room before the game is tense and The Lion
King sits amidst the commotion and noise detached and immersed in his thoughts.
Will he play well? Will he score?
3.
The Lion
King (Kick Off)
The game begins. Our
hero plays like The Lion King he is.
4.
Tempers
Flair (The Foul)
A frustrated Fernando Llorente is antagonised by the
opposition and retaliates – leaving his marker lying on the ground looking up
at Llorente.
5.
Half Time (Come on Lads!)
Llorente and his team mates are reminded of their
responsibilities and told they must do better.
6.
Just the
Keeper to Beat...
Llorente and his team come flying out of the traps at the
start of the second half. Within minutes
The Lion King has ridden several challenges and is clean through on goal. With just the keeper to beat, Llorente lays a
perfect ball for a team mate…who skies the ball over the bar.
7.
I Miss You
(Javi Martinez)
The Lion King reminisces of the times when he played
with Javi Martinez. He hopes they
can play together again.
8.
The
Injury
Llorente is hacked down, taken off and forced
to watch the rest of the game sitting on the bench. The out of time sections of the song signify
Llorente’s mental distress.
9.
MoM
The game ends. Fernando
Llorente is the Man of The Match. The
final score is irrelevant.
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